the mask.

should i take off that mask. let the world see me for who i am? or should i keep it on. and play it fake day by day.

i think so far, playing it fake has worked. because not many poeple can see through that mask. only the ones you have shown your feelings to. so i am gonna play it that way. keep it down. keep it the samee. its worked in the past. it should work now.

but now is different from the "then". it was easier a year ago. two years ago. will it be the same now?

the past was filled with love and compasssion. care, and straightforward. but now. its confusion. and stress. and drama. but this confusion over wins all. its "clouded the path forward" so you could say. but i have to follow that path. i stay back, and i'm in the dark. and its not too far. i can see the light through the clouds. i KNOW its there. but mabbe, just that journey. will take some effort.

maybe i can learn from this journey. because it seems so familiar. should it be harder now. can it? i've taken this exact same path before. but then, it was clear. now its not. yet. i have to go on.

and the harder part. is what i want. but i cant have. how can i have something thats already taken by somebody else? its under their gaurd. and theres no way of stealing it, even though i wasnt gonna do that.

so now i have to go on this path. these stairs. and the one comfort. is to know that if i do slip, i do have someone to catch me. thanks isabel and priyanka. (:


sorry guys, if this made no sense at all. i was in a reallly figuritive mode. and i had to let it outt.