rock bottom.

i really like ralph's posst. and thats how i feel right now. so im not gonna bother repeating all of that cus 1. he already wrote it and 2. his is probably beetter anyways.

so yeaah. (: i hate it how my mood can change so quicklly. becuase of one thing. i can be super super HYPER. and liek WOAH. YEAAY. THATS SO COOL. and then like a minute later its like "i hate life. wth. why. this is so unfaaair" and like full on "life is suckish" mode.

i sorta cant wait for formal <3 its in like 2 weeks. but that means comps. :(

oh myy.

what i need in life right now:
-someone to cheer me upp. and noticcee when i have that fake smile on. cus behind that mask theres so much misery. and pain. and emotions that are just DIEING to come out.
-a comforting hug. not one of those "oh. hi. whatsup hugs" one of those "omg. i know what your going throuugh, gimme me a hug." and those ones that just make you feel better for like 5 minutes.

i had a longer list than that. but yeaah. this is the result of me not being me.

i hope this little phase of mine passess soon. cus im honeslty not enjoing itt. and this is not the way i want all of sophomore year to be.

i wish you would notice. i wish that things could change. i wish that i was her. but these are all wishes. and wishes don't come truee. so i guess that im stuck here. stuck with being unnoticed. with being "the below average". stuck with no change, and the same thing over and over again. stuck with being myself. im not the one. and i will never be the one. once you've hit rock bottom, i dont think there is any way to go any lower or any higher. so i might as well get used to this scenary. dark, saddening, unwanted... and surprisingly, its pretty easy to get used to.

formspring.me

Would you rather swim in a pool or the ocean?

a pool fshoo. :D

Ask me anything

Today I went to the movies with my boyfriend for a date. He showed up with what looked like a black scribble on his cheek. He told me it was a secret message. I bent in to read it, and got as far as "if you can read this, you are about to be-" before he swooped in and kissed me. It was my first kiss. MLIA

thank you isabel

this post should have come out a lonng long time agggo. x] ahahah

BUT. isabel chua! thank you for helping me out through wintter. breaak. <3 you dont know how mucch that helped mee. x]

i feel like ishould write more here, dearie. but i know you understand me. ;]

"love is found in unexpected places. it is there in the quite moment when we first discover a beautiful thing"

I LOVE YOU!

winter adventures!

so. i did a lot this winter break. with lots of people. (: and i dont want to forget any of it. so imam blog bout it!

Dec18: dinner party!
dec19: eagle project helping. makeup party (anusha, and kals)
dec20: park. jeremy, isabel, alice
dec21: volunteering. TS practice. park!
dec22: nothing? :O
dec23: movie marathon (isabel and allen), IC winter potluck!
dec24: family time! x]
dec25:christmas party (anusha)
dec26: temple (relatives)
dec27: spanish project (jen ding, amy hsu, alice lee)
dec28: sherlock holmes (allen and angela)
dec29: study for permit test.
dec30: anusha's house
dec31: new year's ever party. permit test.
jan1: sleepover (anusha's)
jan2: family time!
jan3: hw. ):

okay. im pretty sure i messed up the first couple of daays. x] esp. dec22 HAHAAH.

wow. i did alot :O time to crank up that studying.

resolutions!

1. accept the truth.
2. dont change the unchangeable.
3. try my best in everything.
4. be optimistic.
5. dont worry in little details, cus in the future. it wont matter.
6. live in the moment.
7. learn to appreciate myself.