not what i really expected. did i?

UGGGH. i never realized that things that happen in 8th grade can freaking affect you now. IN THE MIDDLE OF 10TH GRADE. its not even grades. its the social aspect of school. T_T

really? this is not how i expected this to end. i was thinking on a much better note. just a crush. it will fade away. and things can go back to normal. and nothing would matter. he wouldnt know. he wouldnt care. we'd just be friends. :D

but thats not gonna happen. ever. cus life is just like that. once you got something happy, something bad has just GOT to happen. I HATE IT. its not fair at all.

so cus of my stupidity. i lost a friend. a GOOD close friend. UGGGH. ):

i dont know if i'm mad. or sad. or ALKDJIAGH. its just a bunch of feelings put together. and it makes you feeel so bad. and so low. ): like. if i go eat cake now, i wouldnt feel better. THATS SERIOUS. cus cake always makes me feel better.

and this isnt the end of the world. cus i know i get realllllllly dramatic when i write these posts. xD i read the old ones. and i'm like. wtf i actually wrote that? like the one where it was like "will you be there when fate plays with my life?" or something like that? HAHHA. i'm such a loser.

): maybe thats why. UGGGGGGGGGGGGH. and i even shouldnt be worrying about this. its sorta HIS loss that he doenst wanna talk to me. but isnt it my fault too?

i just feel so awkward going up to him and talking. even though we've done that so many times.
life just doesnt go that way.

now. i get to go study for human. how fun.

dang it. i'm really sad now. GOSH. stupid boy. stupid friend.
stupid loss. T__T



"can we get this back to how it used to be?"
i dont know if anyone noticed. but those quotes are from songs. and those lyrics usually applies to how my day went. or how i feel. :D