truth is, not all friendships are going to last. and i need to stop worrying about why it never worked out, and just remember all the exciting moments and conversations that i've had. i need to cherish the good memories, and move on from that.

i absolutely cannot start moping about why this happend, or would it be different if this happend.

i need to be thankful for the memories that i have made with them, and continue on, making memories with others.

however, some friendships do last, and it is important for me to not take them for granted. these people have kept me motivated, cheerful, inspired. i am not the person i am today without their influences.

i hate how sometimes, somethigns in your head look SO much better than how it actually turns out. ):

i thought the stuff i was doing christmas would be cute. ): but now, i really don't like it. and i feel bad cus im giving it to other people, and of course they'd be like "omg. archie. thank you. its so cute" adn blah blah. but i feel like they won't like it ): like. at all.

so im sorry for the crappy present ):

i'm at that point where i just want to give up. i feel like there are too many things to do, and i know i can do it, but its gonna take so much effort for me to do. and i'm not the kind of person who likes to put extra effort into certain things. i've never studied so much for a class, and its so frustrating when the work i put in doesn't correlate with the results i get. i'd be down to just sleep and not do anything, but i know that it'll pile up, and i'll be so annoyed at myself for not completing stuff beforehand. things are just getting a little crazy, and i need some away time. i want to escape for a week. and come back to no make-up work. winter break is just around the corner, but all the assignments and college apps and portfolios i have to work on make it seem like i'll be working untill next wednesday night. ):

deargod. save me from this madness D: