i've never been this upset. just a single thought can give me fear. and i don't like that one bit.

truth is, not all friendships are going to last. and i need to stop worrying about why it never worked out, and just remember all the exciting moments and conversations that i've had. i need to cherish the good memories, and move on from that.

i absolutely cannot start moping about why this happend, or would it be different if this happend.

i need to be thankful for the memories that i have made with them, and continue on, making memories with others.

however, some friendships do last, and it is important for me to not take them for granted. these people have kept me motivated, cheerful, inspired. i am not the person i am today without their influences.

i hate how sometimes, somethigns in your head look SO much better than how it actually turns out. ):

i thought the stuff i was doing christmas would be cute. ): but now, i really don't like it. and i feel bad cus im giving it to other people, and of course they'd be like "omg. archie. thank you. its so cute" adn blah blah. but i feel like they won't like it ): like. at all.

so im sorry for the crappy present ):

i'm at that point where i just want to give up. i feel like there are too many things to do, and i know i can do it, but its gonna take so much effort for me to do. and i'm not the kind of person who likes to put extra effort into certain things. i've never studied so much for a class, and its so frustrating when the work i put in doesn't correlate with the results i get. i'd be down to just sleep and not do anything, but i know that it'll pile up, and i'll be so annoyed at myself for not completing stuff beforehand. things are just getting a little crazy, and i need some away time. i want to escape for a week. and come back to no make-up work. winter break is just around the corner, but all the assignments and college apps and portfolios i have to work on make it seem like i'll be working untill next wednesday night. ):

deargod. save me from this madness D:

i'm so giddy. HOHOHO.

and i'm happy. just for the moment. and i'm going to cherish it. i'm not going to let anyone, or anything bring me down.

i went to an engagement party thing today (indian thing. ahah). but it was kinda cute. and i can't wait to meet my soul mate. or how i like to think of it, my prince charming. AHAHAHAH. i've never been asked out, gone on a date, kissed, or had an adventure with that special someone, and i'm totally okay with that. (this isn't a rant. its just whats been on my mind.). and i look at people aroudn me. and they seem so happy without that soulmate. like my dearest friend angel said. "your time will come" <3 but im so excited for that! to meet that person. and get to know them. and learn small thigns about them. find a soulmate that i can gush too, and be myself around, and yeaaaah. (:

here's to a drama free senior year!

i always think about why certain things happen. why am i in asb this year? because shit would come along, and asb-ers are the ones to help me out <3 i love them so so so much. and i dont know where i would be without them this year. so many new, amazing people i've met.

not having a good day. i want comfort food + friends right now. but i dont think thats going to happen.

i

am

so

confused.

i dont know what to do. or how i feel. or what i think i should do. or if its even worth it. ): self-esteeem slightly going down.

but apart from that, i guess i can say i've been happy so far. there's nothing really bringing me down. and its just an amazing feeling.

‎"sometimes i feel like talking to you but then i realize you don't care and neither do i"

first pay check! im so happy. (: disneyland is just a little bit closer.

so lots of personal thinking today!

i remember when i used to feel super left out. and right now, i dont feel like that anymore! i think i got closer to a certain few, and because of that, i dont have to feel left out.

i want someone to mess with. to be silly with. to go on adventures with. someone to have when i want to go play.

i'm still searching for that someone :D

gotta keep your head up. (oh, oh)

and you can let your hair down (eh, eh)

i pray for my family, and we can get through this together.

i had one of the best lunches so far yesterday. idkay why. but it was just amazing. everything seemed normal. :D

on a side note, i wont let this bring me down. i absolutely wont! i'm better than moping around! (:

i'm sorry for the things i've said

im sorry for the things i've done

i'm sorry for the mistakes i've made

i'm sorry for ignoring you

i'm sorry for constatnly bugging you

i'm sorry for not telling how i felt in the beginning

i'm sorry for being such a horrible friend.

i'm sorry for letting my grades slip

i'm sorry for trying to reach out

i'm sorry for being a nuisance

i'm sorry for not being the daughter you wanted me to be.

i'm sorry for judging you before

i'm thankful for the friends that i have made

i'm thankful for the ability to put things behind me and go on

i'm thankful for ways to express myself

i'm thankful for a supporting family

i'm thankful for food+harrypotter, comforts after a hard day.

i'm thankful for the friends who accept me for who i am

i'm thankful for the friends who watch out for me

i'm thankful for the friends who i can by myself with

i'm thankful for being able to help friends who need my help

i'm thankful for asb for fixing my day if it goes horrible

i'm thankful for being able to reconnect with an old friend

i'm thankful for the person i've become today

not exactly the perfect saturday. but the day's almost over, which means tomorrow is a whole new day. new start.

eeensie teensie bit paranoid. but kinda whatever about it (:

I'm THE class a "queen" bitch. so you better stay out of my solid gold castle.

uhm. kinda sad. i've mass texted asb members and asked for help for setting up for tomorrow. and absolutely NO ONE said they could....im not sure if my text didn't go through. or yeah. but yay me. 6:45 in the morning to decorate the school by myself!

to my bestest friends in the world <3

so before you guys came over yesterday, i was soo down and sad and tired. and i was just listening to music. and then fix you by coldplay started playing. and i dont know why. but for some reason i just started crying. i think its just that for some reason, if i havnt cryed in a while, all the tears get stored and some random moment (like yesterda) it just all came out. which was rather embarrasing cus i didnt even know why i was upset to be honest. and usually when im that upset, i like to be by myself and not talk about it. and just read/sleep it off. but obviously i couldnt do that cus we had to study for civcs (which i didnt do as well as i thought -____________-) but. i was kinda afraid for what would happen in case i accidently lashed out on both of you. but that didnt happen. and i dont know why, but you guys just being there made me happy. i didnt even talk about what happend that day, or why i was so mad. but i guess your guyses bubbly personality and your wonderful stories about vacationing in san francisco and buying food at south streeet just took my mind of things. (I AM SO CLEVER. SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!). but yeah. thank you for just being you <3

-archie

asb retreat was amazing. (: i really can't say more. it was just everything i expected and more. i loved getting closer everyone, new and old. and it was just phenomenal. im so excited to work with everyone this year :D and make more friends.

SIDENOTE: MARISSAAAA. I LOVE YOU TOO (: <3 and i will try to comment on every post. HAHA. :D

and i love making people's days.

and i reallllly want to coook something delicious. like REALLY REALLY goood. RANDOM. but yeah :D

summer 2011

things i've done so far:

finished seasons 1-6 of how i met your mother

seasons 1&2 of glee

season 10 of smallville

PLUS: up-to-date on

nine lives of chloe king

switched at birth

pretty little liars

franklin and bash

harry potter 1-7

beach

learned to play the uke

tumblr all day errryday!

reconnected with an old friend.

made a new friend.

kept my lovelies i cared about close by <3

hi there!

yeah. i still exist.

but go ahead and enjoy yourselves!

summer 2011..not crackin'